This week actually ended on an uphill slope. Most weeks, I would have been worn down by the daily struggles that I have admittedly and ignorantly accepted as life, that the recap is best post of the week. I’m not ashamed of it though. Going forward, I will be scheduling a block of time to actually unwind. It may be daily, every other day or half of a Saturday or something. I’ll sort that out this week so that I’ll have it in effect by February (I already have the whole month of February scheduled; excited about that.)
Tuesday, January 20, I took an educational field trip to the movies to watch Selma. I had plans on writing a review of the portrayal of struggles of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and his supporting cast to get the Voting Rights Act passed via the marches in Selma, Alabama. Well, I went and saw the movie, but the review did not go as planned. I have an incredibly hard time sitting through depictions of the struggles of slavery or the Civil Rights Movement; so until Tuesday night, I never did. However, I’m glad I gave it a watch. It was an excellent, realistic and accurate reenactment of the movement. The directors, actors and casting crew were all excellent. My review turned out to be just a screen shot of the notes that I took during the movie. That was something new for me — sharing notes — because I really did not have the mental strength to go in depth about the film. Those are the types of emotions that I can’t just close off when I feel like it, so from the start of the movie until I went to bed, the emotions flowed… and you ended up with a screen shot of halfwitted notes. I laughed when I read back over them the next day.
Wednesday, January 21, I literally had to battle all day to find my regular optimistic mode of thinking. The day went on on and on without an upside, until I had finished Blogging vs. Journaling. It was something that I had taken a couple notes on and never got around to. Since I needed an easy write, that I needed not put a lot of new thought into, I pull it from my notebook and posted it. It was basically about how blogging can easily turn into journaling even if that had not been the initial purpose for which you created it. Since my blog started as a medium to share cultural relevance the way that I — a young black Christian male in the south of the United States — see it, some things will naturally take on a journalistic style. I have to make sure that it falls within the guidelines of relevance that I’ve set though and be sure not to vent, because that’s not not my point. My point is to share, encourage and make aware that there are people who fall outside of the stereotypes, but still being very very much engrossed in the culture. So basically, my blogging is about being me, and journaling is whining about being me… and I’m not a whiner. 🙂
Yesterday, January 23, I wrote I Was Looking For Me; I Found Black. This was basically about the path that I took through 2014 to become a better person to make way for a better future. In doing so, I neglected the parts of me that the rest of society sees first; and that’s being black. Honestly, as strange as it might sound, I became so focused on me, and what I needed to do, and me me me, that I actually forgot that by simply being black, all of those plans could be taken away from me just as fast as I could think them up. It was the Eric Garner and Michael Brown cases that reminded me. “I could be killed for no reason at all, forgotten and my killer could go on living with no justice being served. If it could happen to one black man, it could happen to me. If it could happen to any man, it could happen to me.” This was my realization that I needed to adjust me re-identification process to include someone other than myself. We live for each other; living any other way is selfish and is not Christ-like.
I look forward to the rest of 2015, but I’m really looking forward to February. I know, you’re probably tired of hearing about February, but I can’t help it. I’m getting a lot off my chest and a lot of barriers are coming down next month. It’s nothing bad or extreme, but I’m a person of conservative nature; at first. The more comfortable I get with anything or anybody, I’m actually one of the most liberal. So when it comes to blogging, I’m reaching the point where I’m okay saying some things that I dared not say in the beginning.
With that being said, I hope you have a very enjoyable week sharing perspectives, showing compassion and spreading your love. I know it’s not always easy; trust me I know… But any other way is just not as fulfilling. 🙂