The most unfortunate thing about my mode of thinking is that every once in a while I have to turn and face what society forces me to accept as reality. On one of my trips back to what we call the “real world”, I realized that if the conditions under which we live continue in their current direction, the possibilities of growing peacefully to old age are slimming each passing day.
Pessimism is not my forte. However, being aware of factors that could effect my wellbeing is indeed my forte.
I could go into a rant about how police seem to be killing unarmed civilians more frequently, but I think we have all heard the speeches about that. I could talk about the high crime rates amongst young blacks, but that’s a struggle we recognize already. The freedom of faith and religious views are slowly being tightened to accommodate things that may go against your stand, specifically in the Christian community. The arguments lying within those topics are quickly becoming null and void as time goes on, weighing on beliefs and individualisms, and acquainting us all to unwarranted levels of compromising.
Then I thought about how easy it is for me to love and live my life as I want to, and had to realize that it is mainly because I have very little to lose. The little that I do have is family and friends; everything else is worthless and I have absolutely no problem giving any material possessions up to have a clear conscious and the integrity and dignity of a man.
The scary part is that the desire to have a family of my own one day carries more weight than it did a few short years ago. The world is not the same. I would be arrested for spanking my child in order to save them from the penitentiary systems, but that same system will shoot and kill that child for less than I would spank them for. I used to want a wife who would be tall, pretty, smart, want kids like me, be Christian like me, and simply want to live a quiet life to ourselves staying out of trouble. But the trouble is that the lifestyle is being attacked. Parents cannot be parents if they cannot raise their children. The Christian guidelines that we would set are under attack and are being held as hate, even though there are absolutely no evidence to prove that. Those are the same children that would have hundreds of questions about being treated differently simple because of their skin color by the time their ten years old. It’s so much that my list for a wife has been worn down primarily to “can and will she stand with me in our beliefs against the oppositions of secularism at ALL costs?” If yes is the answer, we can go forward from there.
It is hard enough to accept that one day your life may fall into a do-or-die situation based on your color, race, religion or etc.; but to have to think about an entire of family of which you are accountable for can be too heavy. So when people ask, “Why are you so happy?” It’s because I know, these care free times may not always be available… Unfortunately.
With Christ and contentment I love all now, and that will allow me to continue loving.